This Week I’m back running, finally!  Tied on the running shoes and hit the pavement!  I started up a week ago Sunday when I was struck with the sudden urge to get moving, which may have had something to do with the fact that my husband is back at the gym after a long hiatus.  I wanted my first run to be pretty laid back with no pressure to perform, I wanted to enjoy it!  With that in mind I left my watch at home and took McKay instead!  This way I wasn’t too focused on doing well, I was just out on a casual jog with my dog!  I’m so happy that I did too, because it led to some pleasant surprises!

The first thing that I noticed was now that McKay is a bit older, and better trained on walks, he was also much better behaved on the run!  Hallelujah!  He wasn’t pulling my arm off trying to follow a scent, and he wasn’t stopping every 50 feet to sniff a post or tree, or patch of grass.  I’m not saying he was perfect, but it was a huge improvement upon his previous running behaviour!  The fact that I was able to keep a steady (ish) pace without stopping at every bush led me to my second happy discovery : I’m not as out of shape as I had feared!

I may not know how long it took me, but as of this past sunday I have run three times, each time somewhere between three and four Kilometers.  I’m not saying that I havent lost endurance, this is obviously a far cry from the 14k I was capable of about a year ago, but I’m happy about where I am at the moment.  By the end of each run I felt great!  I wasn’t overly exhausted or discouraged, quite the opposite actually, I felt energised and enthusiastic about it!

It’s three weeks until the TC 10k, so I hope th gain a couple of kilometers each week so that by then I will feel comfortable running that sort of distance.  I think that it will all come back to me fairly quickly, I’m not exactly starting from scratch, I do have SOME experience under my running belt now!  So I’ll keep lacing up and just go for it!  It sure feels great to call myself a runner again!

So, as anyone who reads my blog may have noticed, it’s been about a year since I last ran.  Anyone close to me will have likely met the reason why!  My Caroline.  The long-awaited, greatly anticipated girl has finally arrived!

The thing about being pregnant though is that it makes it rather difficult to run long distances.  I won’t speak for everyone, because I know people who have kept up their fitness regimes through their pregnancies, but I personally didn’t have the energy, or the motivation to run.  Somehow it just didn’t seem like quite the right time to be training for a marathon!  So I stopped, cold turkey.  I didn’t even really miss it.  That was until last week.

Last week I was out for a walk with my new family.  All of us.  Me, the husband, the baby, and the two dogs (yes, I have another beagle also!).  It wasn’t the first time we had all gone out together since our daughter was born, but it was the first time that I was the one walking the dogs.  Let me tell you about my dogs.  They have energy!  Any beagle owner knows that they can run circles around you, and still want to play, so we like to stop by the park near our house and run a few laps with them.  The past several months though, I obviously wasn’t able to do this, as I could barely manage to waddle to the corner and back, so my hubby would take them.  Back to my original point, which is that for the first time in a very long time I could run them around the park.  Oh running, how I missed you!  The adrenaline rushing through me, the feeling of power it gives me!  Somehow I had forgotten how good it feels. 

I haven’t yet gone on a “real” run, (you know, putting on exercise clothes and running shoes) but it will be soon, I’m aching for it!  I’m sure I will have lost most of my stamina, I’ll be happy if I can still run 5k, but never the less I’m excited!  My plan at the moment is to run (or walk/jog at the very least!) the 10k this spring (May 1st I believe)  From there we’ll see how it goes!  Maybe a Half Marathon in the fall?

I suppose with GPS you’re not ever really lost, but last week after Nathaniel and I ended up taking a random route (which ended up being our best run yet!) we made it our goal to try to “get lost” on our runs from now on. 

So here’s the whole story:  Last week on Tuesday, we set out for a 6k run on a route that we had taken many times before.  It was so easy to run because we had been over it so many times before.  We didn’t have to think about where we should go, and we knew that we would get to our goal distance.  About 1k in, my knee stared hurting.  Well, it hinted at the fact that it was going to hurt is more accurate.  At that point, there were three options.  Option one, we could turn around and go home.  Not tempting.  I was in the mood to run and didn’t want to give up so quickly!  Option two, we could take an alternate path which would cut the run in half, and if we wanted to, we could extend afterwards.  Or option three, we could continue on the course we had laid out and hope that it wouldn’t get much worse.  There were no other point along the way where we could cut our run shorter, so we would have to run the whole thing!  If we were going to shave some time off, we had to do it now. 

 Obviously, for the sake of my health and sanity, we decided to take the alternate path.  At first I just wanted to get the run done and over with.  Was this what my running had come to?  Something that I just  had to endure?  If that was the case, what was the point?  Maybe I should just give up on the whole thing.  Quickly though I noticed that I stopped thinking about my knee.  Suddenly I was running my naturally, fluidly, and with less pain!  “hmmm…what am I doing differently?  Damn!  now I’m thinking about it and it hurts again!”  These were the thoughts that passed through my head in a split second.  As soon as I became aware that I was in less pain, I was so concentrated on my knee that I couldn’t run properly anymore.  Once I realised this, I was able to push it out of my head and let my body take over.  

Quickly we got to another point where we could head home or go further, I decided to go for it!  Why not take advantage of this new found control (or lack of control, if you want to look at it that way) while I could?  Well the path that we thought was straight ended up veering off and we ended up in a little park.  No problem, I was still feeling good!  Well long story short, we found our way back, of course, and ended up running about the same distance that we set out to run in the first place!  Somehow though, this way felt shorter and more exciting!  We actually both enjoyed the run, and were on such a great high for the rest of the night!  I hadn’t felt that way in probably over a month!  What an amazing feeling! 

The next time we went out, instead of leading the way through the trails that I thought I knew so well in Hatley forest, I let my brother lead!  Well we ended up on quite a fantastic journey!  definitely the hardest workout I’ve had in a long time!  I think we may be onto something here!  Not knowing what lies ahead is great in so many ways!  The most obvious is the fact that you haven’t seen it before, so it’s new and interesting!  The one that makes running in particular better is that you aren’t constantly worried about how far away the end is, because you have no idea! 

With this in mind, we set out to do our weekly long run (8k due to my knee) without a clue as to where we would go!  And, not surprisingly, it was a truly great run!  I can really feel the strength building back up in my knee.  I’m loving running again, and I can’t wait to be back on track!

Wow!  I can’t believe it’s been almost 2 weeks since I’ve written anything!  So here’s the breakdown on what’s been happening with my running:

I’ve made one big realization, I am terrible at this motivation thing!  If anyone remembers, Nathaniel and I made a deal that I would motivate us to get out and run, if he could motivate us to run harder and further.  I thought that this was a pretty good plan.  Before he arrived, I was having no problem getting out there for a run, even if I couldn’t motivate myself until late at night, I would almost always still go.  Why should it be so different now?  Just do the same thing I was, but knock on someone elses door first.  Well, the problem is that when I was just dragging my own ass out of the house, it didn’t matter if I was feeling up for it.  I didn’t have to get excited and make another person WANT to run, when I really didn’t want to myself! 

I’ve been pretty busy lately (this time of year is always chaotic), so I haven’t had too much energy for running lately either.  Between marking student projects, Christmas parties, and shopping, at the end of the day the last thing on my mind has been going for a run.  I think that’s why morning runs have been working quite well for me!  Before I can even think about how exhausted I am, I’ve already finished my run for the day.  Last week I actually ran twice at 6am!  Yes, you read correctly.  And it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I had myself convinced it would be.  I’ve also started running with one of my friends again, which is really nice!  It helps keep me motivated to actually have to meet someone, rather than just leaving whenever it suits me.  For this reason I think I’ve decided to join a running group in January.  The added motivation and group support is exactly what I need to keep me going through the rest of the winter.  And then afterwards, in the spring, there’s a half marathon that I hope to be ready for!

The only lingering and festering problem is my knee.  I think I did something to it during a run back in October, but it’s only fairly recently started really hurting.  I feel like a wreak with injuries so early on!  After my run today, I decided that I definitely need to see someone about it before it gets any worse, so sometime this week I think I’m going to stop into the clinic and get it checked out.  I’m pretty sure it will be OK, I walked it off and iced it when I got home, and it’s feeling fine now, I just think I need to build up some muscle.  I guess I’ll know soon enough.  Fingers crossed!

I know I haven’t written anything in a while! It’s been a bit of a crazy week! Not likely to get any less crazy any time soon either, so my posts may be a bit sparse for a while. My last run was yesterday morning. At 6am. No word of a lie, I got my ass out of bed and actually ran at 6 on a Monday morning! I can’t actually believe it myself! I’m not saying it was easy, but I did it, and it wasn’t all bad. So, what was so hard about running before the sun even peaked its head?

1.  Hello! Do I need to state the obvious? I don’t do mornings, as far as I am concerned, they’re a cruel joke invented by someone without a life.  I enjoy sleep.  I enjoy the warm comfort of my bed!  Just getting up was by far the hardest part of my whole run!

2.  I was running by myself.  At 5:45 am, when I dragged myself out from under my covers, I went to wake him up (he’s probably as much of a grump in the mornings as I am) and found a tiny note attached to his door.  Yes, he bailed on me.  I begrudgingly grabbed my sneakers and put them on.  It was all I could do to keep myself from crawling back into bed! 

3.  My knee started hurting a little half way through.  It wasn’t very bad, but it worries me, because a friend of mine hurt her knee and has a really hard time running now.  It made the run difficult because I kept thinking about it.  What if it got worse?  What if I can’t run the Marathon because of it?  I’ll keep a close watch over it.

Despite all of this, I still  had a good run!  What made up for it, you ask?

1.  I didn’t have to worry about having a conversation, which was the nice thing about not having Nathaniel with me.  I want to clarify something here:  I love my brother deeply and we have really great conversations.  I just don’t have great conversational skills before…hmm…9 am or so?

2.  The weather was great!  It wasn’t raining for a change, and it wasn’t too cold.  If this hadn’t been the case, I don’t think my willpower would have been enough to even leave the driveway.

3.  The best part of my run wasn’t even the run.  It was how great I felt afterwards!  By the time I got back, I was wide awake and full of energy!  I got ready faster, and got more done before I left for work than I would have if I had been up at 6:00 without going for a run!  Usually by that time I’m just waking up and barely able to string 3 words together coherently.  I’ve said it before, and I don’t think I really even believe myself, but I think I might become a morning runner for this reason!  Ha ha.  I know.  You’ll believe it when you see it, right?

 That’s when I got my motivation to run today, just in time.  I wanted to run on the trails of Hatley Park, and  if I had left any later, I wouldn’t have had time to do so before it got dark.   Sun set is at about 4:30pm right now!  When you’re up at noon (yes, noon!) that doesn’t leave much time to get motivated before you have to leave.   But I couldn’t let us down!  I am the motivator.  I will get us out of the house and into the cold!  I think this strategy will work well!

The run was short, but we took it much faster than usual for the route.  It’s full of hills, roots, rocks, twists and turns, which makes it difficult to run quickly, but somehow we managed.  And Nathaniel pointed out something that I hadn’t noticed.  Obviously you have to pay very close attention to the terrain, and even closer attention when you want to take it faster, what I hadn’t noticed was what that meant for my training.  it makes you stop thinking about anything else, and just focus on where you’re stepping, and where you’re going to step next.  It forces you to make quick decisions.  Which side of the tree should I go to?  There’s a big root on the right, but it’s further to go left.  Ok, right, but should I jump over the root, or run around it?  If I go around, which side should I go to?  It seems trivial, but whe you’re taking your time running, you have a lot more time to think it through.  When you’re running at even a slightly faster pace, you basically have to rely on instinct.  It all runs through your head in a split second and you just go for it.  All these quick decisions means you aren’t as able to zone out.  Your mind is as active as you are.  The one thing you aren’t focused on though is that dull ache in your shin.  Which is really nice for a change!

I’m so glad I had some motivation today!  I really need to get back into a habit of running, so that every day isn’t such a struggle.  One stride at a time I guess!

“I’ll kick your butt out of the house to run, if you can kick mine to run harder and further.”  This is the deal I made with Nathaniel after our run today.

We set out today to run 10k, after not running the entire week.  Needless to say, the second we started running we could tell it was going to be a rough day!  My legs ached everywhere, and I was struggling to keep my breath even, and this was after only the first kilometer!  I just kept thinking to myself  “Why?  Why didn’t I run at all this week?  I’m running a marathon in less than 11 months, and I can’t even run 3 times a week?”  Kicking myself didn’t help me stay motivated to run, (oddly enough!) so when the rain hit, and the wind was driving it into my face, I made the suggestion that we turn around.

So at 3k in, we turned around.  The wind was now at our back, and the rain didn’t seem so bad, but I was done with it!  I was ready to head home, run a hot bath to soak my aching muscles, and seriously re-evaluate this silly marathon plan!  But Nathaniel was there.  “Why don’t we turn here and do an extra loop to make up the difference?”  said the evil, slave-driving mad man.  “Noooooooooooo!”  I screamed, (silently) but went along with it.  Why not make this last run a good one?  At least I could tell myself that I did my best.  I ran 10k, and ran it well. 

The rest of the run was agonising, I wanted to stop so many times, and parts of me hurt that I didn’t even know existed.   The last 1/2 kilometer wasn’t so bad though.  *Sigh*  I will live to run another day!

That’s when I made the plan.  I realised that no matter what I do, there are going to be hard days.  I know that I need to tough it out and, above all, be more structured with my running.  I’m not going to be able to do this if I keep skipping runs.  I also realised the reason that I haven’t been very consistent lately.  I’ve been relying on my brother to motivate me to run!  How stupid is that?  Before he got here, I was doing just fine getting out there, so why should it be any different now?  There is no reason. 

So, as I said.  I’m going to get us out the door, and Nathaniel will keep us going!  And I WILL run a marathon!  Wish me luck!

I have now officially matched the longest distance I have ever run before in my life!  I’m pleased to say that it wasn’t as terrible as I remember!   Don’t get me wrong, there were parts of it where I was sure I couldn’t take another step for the life of me! 

 When I reached 6k, I could have taken a different road and been finished in about 2 minutes, and believe me, I thought really hard about it!  The next kilometer was the worst of the whole run!  I just kept thinking “I could be home right now taking a hot shower!  What the hell am I doing out here?” And it didn’t help when I started approaching a steep hill!  I was really grateful for that hill though.  Not at the time, but afterwards when I realised what it did for me.  I was able to take my mind off the remaining distance, off anything for that matter!  All I could think about was that hill, and kicking its ass!  After that it was easy, I wasn’t thinking about my warm home anymore, which made it so much easier to run the rest.  And actually I think I could have kept on going if I needed to in the end. 

I think there’s a point where the exact distance is kind of irrelevant.  Looking back on my run, I don’t think it felt any longer than 7 or 8 k.  It has a lot more to do with my perception of the distance.  Once I get running, get into a good solid pace, I have a hard time judging distance or time.  40 minutes, 1 hour or more, it all feels the same.  In fact, I couldn’t tell you how long it took me to run those 10k, not even a vague idea.  I could tell you how long it should have taken me, based on the pace I believe I was running at, but whether or not that’s even close to accurate is really beyond me.  And yes, I was tired by the end of it, but I think if you had told me that I still had another 2k to run before I reached the 10k, not only would I have believed you, (except that I mapped out my route prior to leaving, so I knew where 10k ended) but I would have been able to run it too.

I truly believe that the most difficult part of this journey, for me at least, will be getting past the perception of how long a marathon is.  Right now it scares the shit out of me!

Benjamin Madison / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

It was clear out today, which was a great motivator for me to get out and run again.  I decided to do hills for a few reasons:

1. I Prefer to run on the uneven terrain.  It’s softer and better to run on than pavement, which helps with those darn shins.  Also, navigating around rocks and roots really keeps me on my toes.  I have to think about it every step I take.  Make sure that I’m not going to trip or twist an ankle.  It also helps with stability, which I’m terrible with.  Do you remember doing stretches in gym class when you were little?  Well when stretching your Quads (standing on one foot, holding the other behind you) I was always the kid grabbing onto anyone I could, knocking everyone down.  I’m not much better now.

2.  I am able to get an intense workout and work muscles that I otherwise ignore in a relatively short distance.  Not to be confused with short time.  Running hills always slows me down a fair bit.  I have a fairly short stride usually, which is strange because I have quite long legs in proportion to my body.  What this means is that on flat ground I don’t work my thighs much, but running hills forces me to.  It also gets my heart rate up, so I have to really focus on my breathing, I think more so than even my longest distance runs!

3.  You can’t really beat the views running through the trails of Hatley Forrest. 

Overall a good run! I’m still not completely sure of the exact distance.  GPS is quite unreliable when a) I’m not running in a straight line and b) I’m under heavy cover form very old and very large trees.  It said just under 5k, but it was probably longer than that by a bit.  I’m feeling it again.  The running I mean.  I think I’m getting back into my groove. 

After a week hiatus from my training, I finally just made myself get out and run tonight.  It was a really good run too!  6k in 38 minutes, nearly my goal pace of 6 min/km for the TC 10k in the spring.  Unfortunately I still don’t quite feel back into it.  I don’t feel the same pull, the same need to run as I did even 2 weeks ago. 

So I ask myself, what’s different now?  I still have the same goals I want to accomplish.  My time frame is the same.  My fitness level is relatively the same.  Obviously the weather is a factor, but I don’t think that’s all it is.  All I can think of is that there are some stresses in my life right now that I didn’t have 2 weeks ago. 

Of course I’m not going to bore anyone with the details, but needless to say my mind has been otherwise occupied.  It’s been easier to clear my mind by vegging out in front of the TV than to run (which actually does a better job once I’m out).  Nathaniel brought up a really good point tonight as well, which relates to this situation.  A lot of running a marathon isn’t physical, (ok well a lot is physical too!) but a greater mental capacity.  You have to endure the thought of running 42 kilometers to begin with.  Then you have to condition your mind to deal with fatigue for long periods of time, to run through the pain sometimes.  And, (as relates to my current situation) you have to get yourself out that door to run even when it’s the last thing you want to be doing sometimes.

I think that will be my biggest challenge.  I know that I can do it.  I will do it.  And in doing so, I will improve the control I have over my own mind.  I can be the master of my thoughts!